This is kind of a part two to yesterday’s post. I’ve been thinking a lot about why I haven’t been blogging. And I want to come clean.
The first reason I haven’t posted in five months is that well-known Physics Law of Momentum Thingy: I wasn’t blogging and wasn’t blogging and wasn’t blogging. So, it kinda became a habit NOT to blog.
But there’s another reason I stopped writing on this blog. Because I did sit down a few times and think maybe I’d try to write and post something. But I’d walk away from my computer without having written a word.
The truth is: I didn’t feel like being vulnerable.
The truth is: I moved 3,000 miles away from a life that I cherished, and the move was really, really hard on me.
The truth is: I feel embarrassed about how hard it’s been. And I didn’t want to face the embarrassing, messy truth myself, let alone share it in a public space like this.
I’m not sure why it’s so important for me to tell the truth now. Maybe it’s just important for me to say aloud, “Shit has been tough over here.” Maybe it’s so I can start forgiving myself for not being perfect. Or maybe it’s because when I don’t tell the truth, the darkness just gets darker, and I could use a little more light now as I move on towards morning.